Why Anger is the Enemy of a Good Life (and How to Make Peace With It)

Our world is awash with anger.

Anger smashes windows, slaps families, and burns down civilization. An angry person pounds a keyboard with all-cap posts on social media.

Today, the media (no matter the side) feeds up a healthy helping of rage. It keeps our eyeballs on their screen and allows them to manipulate us. It is salt that produces a thirst for more. The angrier you are, the more you become angry.

Anger is an emotion that results in actions we take.

James, the brother of Jesus, points out the corrosive nature of anger.

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19–20)

I am amazed at Christians who dress anger up in the frilly term “righteous indignation.” Anger drives you to do what God doesn’t want you to do.

How do we tackle this ever-growing beast, at least in ourselves?

The Nature of the Beast

Anger comes in two flavors.

Sometimes, anger smolders. An irritation ignore never disappears. It is a house fire that still has a glowing ember. It lays there, and then, at the worst time, it explodes. Anger unaccounted for leaves, the aroma of the fire not yet put out.

The other flashes. In the Pixar movie Inside Out, the character in red, Anger, sits in the background until irritated. Then, he becomes a blowtorch. That’s flash anger. It takes to Facebook or Twitter to “show them” their error. The problem with flash fires is they scorch and destroy without warning.

It is an emotion that arises from hurt or fear. The feeling of anger is uncontrollable, but it can dissipate with the right approach.

A president can provide a good lesson on anger.

The Damage Anger Does

The granddaughter of Dwight “Ike” Eisenhower, Susan Eisenhower, writes of her grandfather’s war with his inner rage.

Ike had been a war hero and the 34th President of the United States. A furnace roared beneath the surface while he sported a broad grin and jocular nature. He had to learn to use the fire without suffering the burns.

He learned of the damage to his temper young in life. One Halloween, Dwight wanted to go to town with his older brothers to go trick or treating. But his father knew he needed more supervision than that, so he refused to let him go.

Dwight grew so angry that he beat his fists against a tree so hard that he passed out. Once he revived, his mother took him home and made him go to his room to cool off. Then she sat down on the bed beside him, bandaging the wounds caused by his outburst.

“You know Dwight, the only person who got hurt was you. And your lack of control caused it. Remember, when we are angry, the person who gets damaged the most is you.”

Dwight stewed for a minute as his mother watched and waited.

Then, she closed her lecture about self-control with a citation from Proverbs.

“Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” (Proverbs 16:32)

As Eisenhower grew, he learned to control the beast to subdue it.

Fighting the Beast

As an avid journalkeeper, he would write his observations and piques that arose. He cataloged the mistakes of soldiers of all ranks. Pages contained pointed descriptions of political opponents who irritated the president.

At other times, he wrote the name of the person he wished to skewer on paper and placed it in a chair. He would then pace around that chair, emptying the acid he wanted to say to him face-to-face. I can imagine how fiery was the imaginary conversation with Senator Joseph McCarthy.

One of Eisenhower’s strategies exhibits genius.

When a cabinet member, congressman, or political opponent irritated him, he knew what to do. He took a piece of paper on which he wrote out of all the venom his heart had. When finished, he read it, crumpled up the sheet, and put it into the bottom drawer of his Resolute desk in the Oval Office.

His secretary had standing instructions. Each afternoon before leaving, she was to empty the drawer.

Each day, Eisenhower “threw his rage” out of his life.

It is no wonder that the wise man Solomon says,

“Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.” (Proverbs 16:32).

It doesn’t come easy, but, like Eisenhower, we can learn a more effective way.

Facing the Anger in Ourselves

No one is immune from the emotion of anger but all can manage the effects of anger in our lives.

In Genesis 4, the dejected Cain sits in his field feeding his simmering rage. God comes to him and says:

“The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.” (Genesis 4:6–7, ESV)

How do we rule over our pique?

Recognize when you feel anger. The wise counsel to “count to ten when you are angry” is effective. It forces you to stop and think for a moment. In that, you can sense what you feel.

Take steps to express anger without damaging others. Eisenhower discovered he would press his relief valve without scalding others. Unconquered rage scalds others, but it also hurts us. As with the broken hands, we wound relationships we need. The angry man tarnishes his reputation.

Anger is not worth the toll. Deal with it and move on. Once you do, life will be better for you and those around you.

As one man said, “Become angry, and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Don’t put yourself in that position. Take the time to explore yourself. Find the answers that work for you and your personality.

Let people say, “I never saw you angry.” But you will know better.