What Goes into “Thanks?”

Americans come to November with the calendar nudging, “be thankful.” Such is the nature of Thanksgiving.

We’re “supposed to be grateful.”

For all of the positive press on the values of gratitude for body, mind, and spirit, it should be intuitive.

Yet, it is not natural.

An entire generation does not know what to do when someone says “thank you.” (“Not a bother” is not the appropriate response.) Parents must teach their children the words and their proper application of them.

In Luke 17, ten lepers come to Jesus to beg for healing. He grants their request, giving them their lives back. But when one returns to thank him, Jesus is astounded he is alone.

That ratio sounds correct. Gratitude falls by the wayside like rain off of a roof.

What causes such an oversight? I don’t have an answer but some guesses.

In a consumer society, the emphasis is not on what you have but on what you want. Wish lists nudge out blessing lists.

But do we really know what it takes to be grateful?

I have a morning devotional program called Morning Coffee. This past week, I explored what makes up a grateful heart. It was not exhaustive but a collection of thoughts that had come to me.

Here is a summary of those points.

To be grateful, we must change how we see our lives.

Notice the blessing in the difficulties. One writer I follow is Gretchen Rubin. She has a proverb that bears a tattoo on the human heart.

Don’t treat your blessings as a burden. Children are challenging, but they are a blessing. Why, then, do many treat their children as a bother? The same is true about doctor visits or food supplies. In our culture, they are blessings about which we complain.

Give them their due. They are not burdens of life but blessings of life.

Monitor your language. How many times do you say “please” and how many times “thank you.?” Please is a word of request, of need. We use it when we need something or want something. How many requests do you make each day?

Listen carefully because the words “thank you” are rare. They are the language of gratitude and appreciation for what has been received.

If you ask for more than appreciation expressed, gratitude becomes an orphan.

Remember what life could be.

As a boy, I was fascinated by my grandmother’s washing machine. It was an open tub. On top was a wringer with a handle. She would have to feed the wet clothes through the rollers until they were dry enough to hang on a clothesline.

That’s a charming picture but one I don’t want to have today. Instead, we put the clothes in the machine and then into the dryer.

What would your life have been like 50 years ago? A century ago? In the time of Jesus?

A century ago, a simple infection meant possible death. Today, a bottle of antibiotics knocks it out in a few days. Which would you rather have?

When you think you are deprived, think about what it could be if you lived in a different time. It might coax some gratitude from an entitled spirit.

Remember the why.

Several years ago, an author counseled that, to be happy, you take time to list 10 things for which you are thankful. So, for the past several years, that is how I complete my daily journaling experience.

But there is a key to this. It is “why” it makes a difference in your life? Why is your health important to you? Why are you grateful for your spouse and kids? What do they give you that would leave you empty if they were not in your life?

When you connect the why with the what, gratitude has roots.

Even though Thanksgiving Day is past and the turkey carcass is in the trash, don’t let gratitude get packed away for another year. Instead, make it daily.

You will find a life packed with things, growing full of joy.