The Subtle Path to Hatred: Recognizing and Reversing the Steps Before It’s Too Late

Who do you hate?

We recoil from that question. We hate no one.

If we are Christian, we hear Jesus’s command to love even our enemies rather than hate them.

Yet, we see it littering the landscape of our world.

Fists and voices raised in a rage volume. Protesters demand “death” to whoever is the opponent of the day. Politicians call for revenge and retaliation on opponents.

We don’t hate but it sounds like hate.

We don’t hate…yet. No one makes the cold and calculating decision to hate but stumbles into it. Like a frog in boiling water, we grow more like our environment than any will admit. We nudge ourselves toward hate in unrecognized ways. How do we grow into hate?

The Planted Poison

The Hebrew writer instructed:

“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;” (Hebrews 12:15, ESV)

The root of bitterness begins with our attention. Hurt turns into resentment. Life curdles the milk of human kindness until it becomes sour.

We start by thinking about the worst of others. They are trying to hurt us, we tell ourselves. They are evil or of the devil. We read the intention into life.

All hate movements begin with planting a seed of threat in the minds of people. In 1937, the Nazis blamed the Jews for all their ills. Within 8 years, their growing hate torched 6 million men, women, and children.

What consumes your mind about another or another group? And when you think of them, do you replay that record into an ugly symphony?

Good Riddance

Hate is a single spark waiting for kindling. We get it by watching the misfortunes of others.

How do you feel about people who have misfortune? Hate whispers in our ears “Good riddance.”

• “Serves them right!”
• “They got what they deserved?”
• “It’s about time life slapped them?”

Paul said that love does not rejoice at wrong.

But many times we revel in someone’s misfortune because of just desserts.  And hate grins.

The Old Testament story of Jonah is more than a fish story. It is about a man who detests the Babylonians for what he perceives as their wickedness. They were too wicked to hear God’s precious truth. Their repentance would spoil the special nature of God’s people.

When they turned, he was angry. He wanted them to suffer.

Look at the news stories in which you say, “I’m glad they got what was coming to them.” It’s a sign of the flicker of a firestorm building.

Go Away

The next step is simple. You want people to go away.

Hate does not tolerate people but seeks to eliminate them in life. The miserable need removal, much as garbage on garbage day.

The problem is it is not garbage but a person made in the image of God.

Think of murder. It is the permanent solution to my problem….getting rid of the person. If Cain could get rid of Abel, he would rid himself of his pain. Hate is what fueled the Jews’ stoning of Stephen.

Genocides and terror are the methods of extinguishing the irritations in life. They occur on a grand scale.

Jesus said that the solution to murder was to deal with your anger. (Matthew 5:21ff). Take a step back and you may find rumination of someone’s absence is opening the door to hate.

How do we back away from this acid-lined path?

Make excuses for people. Remember the saying, “hurt people hurt people.” Ascribe better motives to others (even if they are not true). The goal is to think better thoughts.

Pray for the health of people you can’t stand. We say “prayer changes things.” The truth is prayer changes us, and we are the ones who need more change than anyone else.

Use different language. Stop calling people enemies. They are opponents, much as opposing teams in sports. You struggle with an opponent but kill an enemy.

Sift the emotions in your heart. Notice if you start to feel worse. It’s never about others but about your response to others.

If need be, change your company. As one bad apple changes the whole bunch, a person who has hate in his heart will infect you.

You can walk it back. But it will take something.

In March 1861, Abraham Lincoln, the new president stepped to the podium. He was elected but faced the crisis of division. Within 45 days, the shots that started the Civil War would belch forth from a South Carolinian cannon.

Now, he pled for something special to perhaps halt the growing crisis. His inaugural address appealed to “the better angels of our nature.” By doing so, the Union could prevent the buckets of blood from flowing.

Unfortunately, the angels never appeared. Perhaps they can in your life and in mine.