The Power of Vulnerability: Asking Others to Share Their Stories

Do you have a story? Many people do, but they often keep it to themselves.

In his book How to Know a Person, David Brooks points out that no one ever asks us to tell our story. He mentions a study where participants received a stipend to share their stories. At the close, many of them refused the payment, claiming it was the best afternoon of their lives.

Preparing for funerals, I ask families to tell me about the deceased. Sometimes, all I have is a hastily-written obituary. It lists birth and death dates, moves, and degrees. The events are about the person, not the story they tell about themselves. At t funerals, many people silently wish they had known these stories while the person was still alive. We want to hear people’s stories.

What is the story of your life? What do you want your children and grandchildren to remember? I’m not talking about your resume or obituary. I’m talking about the deeper aspects of your life. What experiences changed you? Who influenced your values and how? What were your greatest disappointments and joys? What makes you laugh, cry, and sing?

When the apostle Paul defended his life before Roman magistrates, he told his own story. He described a transformative experience on his journey to Damascus, how he changed, and what caused that change. It was not about Paul, but also about the Christ who changed him. His story was his most potent weapon.

Help others share their stories because it will enrich both you and them. I want to spend more time asking people to tell me their stories. Some have done so, and their stories have affected my life. Others remain unheard, buried under a pile of facts and events. It would be tragic to bury people without their stories being heard. You never know a story’s impact until you hear it.

Solly Ganer was once a boy living without care in Kaunas, Lithuania. But everything changed when the Nazis occupied the country. A firing squad took most of his family. The Germans shipped him Auschwitz Bierkenbau concentration camp to work and die, forgotten by the world.

Yet, Solly survived. In 1945, soldiers arrived at the camp. One man’s eyes met his, but they never spoke. The soldier spoke English, while Solly did not.

Years passed, and Solly settled in Israel. After three decades, he received an invitation to an event in San Diego to reunite former prisoners and their liberators. He attended and finally met the man who had cut the wire at the camp.

Both men embraced each other, shedding tears. Neither of them had shared their stories until that moment. Now, they could finally share their stories with someone who would listen.

Can we be courageous enough to ask others, “Tell me your story?”