The Most Difficult Thing to Do in the Church

We hear much about “speaking the truth,”  a diamond phrase in Scripture.

Some turn it into buckshot to pepper unbelievers with it. It turns angry and self-righteous.

Yet, when Paul wrote the phrase, he took the diamond and laid it on the black velvet of us, the church. In Ephesians 4, he speaks to the church of the gift of leadership, living and growing together in faith, building up, encouraging. We are one because of God’s grand mystery.

Christ stripped off our smelly rags of old lives in baptism and dressed us in a life to reflect his glory.

So he describes this life together:

“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.” (Ephesians 4:25, ESV)

Do we tell people the truth? In love? For the good of the body?

How do we take this phrase that has been advocated by angry men in order to tell others off and put it in its rightful place in the church? What does it tell us to do?

Be Kind

I want you to think of three words. Kind. Nice. Cruel. Now, which are you?

I suspect we like the second one best. Nice people don’t want to rock the boat, hurt feelings, or make others uncomfortable. They smile broadly and ignore it.

Seldom do we want to be cruel. yet, some are. They tell people off in no uncertain terms and then absolve themselves of their verbal abuse with, “at least I speak my mind.” Many times, that’s a piece of their mind they could not afford to lose!

But Paul talks about being kind. Kindness is recognizing that all of us need help. We stumble, fall. We lose our way and wander. We grow confused and get off track.

That’s when we need to be kind. Help someone find their way when lost. Help them see what they cannot see.

I have developed the sloppy man syndrome. That’s where much of your food ends up on your face and shirts as it does in your stomach. My wife will point to her chin and flick it. It is her way of saying, “you have something here so you can clean it up since you are unaware.”

That’s not the same as going around finding faults. Any one can find a problem, but I t takes real genius to find a solution. Instead, it takes true care and compassion that the other person feels. He trusts you. You listen and guide, not teach and tell.

Are you kind or nice? Speak the truth in love and be kind from now on.

Be Authentic

Paul says to put away falsehood. Don’t we lie to each other?

A friend came in the church door and greeted me and said, “How are you doing?” I startled him, one of my favorite tricks. I asked him, “Do you want me to tell you the truth or lie to you?”

He was taken back and wondered what I meant.

“If I was not feeling good, did you want me to tell you all of my problems, or did you want me to say ‘fine.'” Remember we like nice rather than kind.

One Christmas we lived in Galveston County. My wife was 6 months pregnant with our second child and all of my in-laws (that’s about 10) decided to descend on us for the weekend. And Christmas fell on Sunday which meant I had to preach. The temperature dipped to single digits (a rarity on the coast) and froze a neck in a pipe in our attic that did not allow for showers. One grumpy member of the outlaws said, “when are we going to be able to take a shower?” I got up in the attic with my trusty hair dryer to unthaw the pipe. It worked but on the way down, I slipped and fell through the sheetrock.

I got to church and if someone had said, “How are you doing,” what should I have said?

But we need to be more open. I have watched a lot of young men  have the courage those of us older lack. They tell you of their struggles. When they speak about their issues in life, it rings my own chimes. I appreciate the courage because we all need to take off our masks.

Paul said we rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. But if we never see the tears, how can we be the church together?

Be the Church

Speak the truth in love. Open your life. Help another. Be joined one to another. It’s how God made us so why do we resist it?