The Importance of Compassion and Fellowship in a Lonely World

This week, I learned (again) a timeless lesson.

My granddaughter has struggled with a problem with pain in her legs. (The explanation is too long and complicated to detail.) As a result, she must wear braces in her shoes to stabilize her legs.

For a child in first grade, she knows she feels different than everyone in her class.

She went to the American Girl store with her mother. There, she found another little girl who wore braces. At last, it was someone like her.

It brought to mind another incident.

I had a friend in junior high and high school. He was my best friend. At my wedding, he was my best man, and I officiated his first marriage ceremony.

Pancreatic cancer struck him in his 50s. He struggled and survived for many years. But on the Saturday that the COVID lockdown started, he died.

He had a rough life. He lost his father to an electrical accident, and his mother died of cancer. He and his brother became orphans, and their aunt took them in.

They came to town knowing no one. How do you fit when you are an outsider? When we moved to Richardson, I didn’t fit in either. Eighth graders became exclusive, and I was on the outside looking in.

Life was lonely, but this friend saw another like him. Out of our common need, we became the best of friends.

On the day he died, I received a text from his aunt telling me of his passing. She wrote, “He needed you.” My reply was simple. We needed each other.

We live in a lonely world where our struggles and pains seem ignored or unknown. Each one carries an individual burden. Some find sickness as their life partner, while others have a ghost named anxiety lingering in their soul.

Does anyone understand? Does anyone notice? In the world, we want someone to feel as we do so we do not feel so alone. We need to know someone feels our pain.

The gospels tell of those who had no friends becoming Jesus’ friends. Tax collectors, prostitutes, and moral failures flocked to him.

Why?

Mark says it is because he had compassion. (Mark 6:34). The word means to hurt in your gut. It is the feeling you get when you sit with someone who has lost someone dear to them. You feel as empty as they do.

That’s compassion because they know you feel what they feel.

Why did God create the church? Among the reasons is the simple one we need others like us. We need people who know life’s struggles and experience life’s joys. It is where all the lepers get together to show each other their scars.

Paul knew that a church dinner did not provide fellowship. That comes from the heart. If a heart breaks together, it doesn’t feel so painful. When smiles get shared, the joy multiplies.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15, ESV)

We all ask, “Where can I go where someone understands my tears?”

People want to know someone shares their hurts and knows their struggles with sin and temptations. It is what the younger generation hungers for. As I visit with younger Christians, they grow frustrated at their elders for their lack of authenticity.

They don’t want lectures but fellow travelers. And truthfully, don’t we all?

I keep striving to remember this simple lesson. Under our skin, we are the same. Until we can feel the hurts of others, weep with those who weep, and care for the brokenhearted, we are only pew-bound believers.

Love is something people see, not hear about.

An old rabbi asked a faithful student, “Do you love me?”

The student answered, “Yes, you know I do.”

“Then do you know what causes me pain?”

“No.”

“If you are not close enough to know what causes me pain,” said the rabbi. “then you are not close enough to love me.”

Let us know the pain of another, so they have a true friend.