Look! The Mirror’s Honest Gaze

Several years ago, I sought corrective surgery for drooping eyelids due to years of contact lens wear that had obscured my vision. The surgeon performed the surgery while I was awake for a specific reason. They needed me to look at myself in the mirror with the incision open to assess whether they had stretched enough muscle.

I hesitated but looked. It was not pleasant, but necessary.

No one likes to look at themselves. In doing video work, I had to overcome the inner resistance of watching my face and gestures. Was I really doing that?

I think of myself as much younger than I am,  almost 70 years old. But my body reminds me of reality.

I have noticed the pattern in life, not with a physical mirror but with a spiritual one.

Our reluctance to see ourselves as we are becomes even more consequential. Jesus often spoke of eyes that do not see and ears that do not hear. In my years of ministry, I’ve observed that we have perfected the art of selective perception, especially about ourselves.

The Scriptures diagnose this condition with surgical precision. James writes, “For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like” (James 1:23-24). This describes our tendency to glance at the truth and then conveniently forget what it revealed about us.

Preachers preach sermons but the person sitting in the pew that needs it most refuses to see himself.

We shield ourselves from honest reflection. We select news sources that confirm our existing views. We cultivate friendships with those who share our perspectives. The echo chambers we construct provide a steady stream of validation rather than the necessary challenge.

In my early years of ministry, I worked as a one-man staff. One task was to produce the weekly church bulletin. I had become careless with editing, allowing mistakes to slip into the writing.

One Sunday, a plain-spoken woman in our congregation confronted me: “You’ve gotten sloppy. You know better.”

Her words stung, but they served as a mirror I couldn’t avoid. She did not pad the truth but delivered it with stark clarity. Looking back, her honest assessment was a gift, though it didn’t feel like it then.

We all need truth-tellers, people who care enough to hold up an accurate mirror. The Proverbs remind us: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy” (Proverbs 27:6). The momentary discomfort of honest feedback leads to lasting improvement.

What mirrors do you avoid? Perhaps it’s Scripture that confronts your comfortable assumptions. Maybe it’s feedback that challenges your self-perception.

Resist the urge to look away. The mirror’s honest gaze may reveal exactly what you need to see.