How to Overcome the Complaining Habit and Start Living a Happier Life

Have you noticed how some people complain constantly, no matter the circumstances?

In one small town, people came to a wise man to complain. Each time, they complained about the same problems.

One day he told them a joke and everyone roared in laughter.

A few moments later, he repeated the joke. A few smiled and chuckled.

He told the joke the third time and no one laughed.

The wise man smiled and said:

“You can’t laugh at the same joke over and over. So why are you always crying about the same problem?”

Yet, some do.

We are examining the life of Moses in a class I teach. Moses spoke for God, but also manned the “spiritual complaint department.”

The people moaned and groaned about everything. No water. No food. God gave water from a rock and manna every morning but they were a broken record of whining.

The harping continued until they could only complain about everything. The theme of their “ain’t it awful” party was how bad life treated them.

Can you find your face in those stories? Do you look at your life through a dark hole that colors it chalky gray?

People complain about their aches and pains, the taxes that come out of paychecks, and their nice, but inadequate homes.

Nothing quenches the thirst. Instead, every day presents a new litany of woes. They feed anxiety a power drink to make it even stronger.

Complaining is never about the circumstances we live in but the heart we use to see them. The Israelites with the ground covered in manna complained about nothing to eat. Friends are not enough if they don’t belong to the exclusive social circle.

Paul knew the answer to the issue of not enough was to open your heart to what is true.

In the letter to the Philippians, Paul writes from a prison in Caesarea Philippi. Falsely accused, he appeals to Caesar himself. Now, he languishes.

Yet, while there, he discovers many things. His incarceration has made others more bold. He has an audience beyond his previous reach, the Praetorian Guard. Christian friends step up to help him.

In all the bane he sees the blessing.

That is why in the fourth chapter, he turns to two women who are at odds. It appears they could fit the complainer’s silhouette. As he closes out the book, he counsels:

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:4–6, ESV)

In this morsel, he douses the complainer’s fire.

Paul says you can find joy in the amid the darkness of life if you will do a few things.

First, put a smile on your face and a zipper on your lip. Let people see and hear that you are kind and patient. It is hard to be miserable through a bad grin beaming. Miserable people cannot do that.

Second, compare the right way. He uses the word “thanksgiving” which means to notice how blessed you are. Too many times we compare up. We don’t have the house, the car, the salary, the clothes, the bank account. Instead, compare down. Many people in the world don’t have enough food to eat, while you have a full refrigerator. If the heat or air conditioning came on, be grateful for many sleep under bridges. Blessings are real but must capture your attention to change your life.

Third, if you have needs, take it to God. He’s the only one who can help you. But beware. If you complain about long lines, snarled traffic, or rude people, he will answer. He will put more in your way so you will learn patience and kindness.

When your perception changes, the complaints go away.

Corrie and her sister Betsy had much to complain about. Corrie and her sister Betsy were just girls when their world changed.

The Nazis swept through their country, and since they were Jewish, they were captured put on cattle cars, and shipped to a monstrous place named Ravensbruck. They had been able to smuggle a Bible into the camp and they decided to give thanks for anything good.

The camp was crowded and fleas swarmed the girls. The girls itched and found wounds becoming infected. How could they possibly find anything good in this situation?

Then, they began to notice. The guards, who would routinely enter barracks to beat prisoners did not enter their barracks. They also discovered that others in the barracks who died had no fleas.

The fleas did two things for them. The guards hated them so they avoided the girls and with each scratch, it reminded them that they were alive.

From that moment, in their prayers, Corrie Ten Boom and her sister Betsy, at night, when they would open their smuggled Bible, read its pages, and how to pray would say, “Thank God for the fleas.”

The next time you find yourself complaining, stop and think about all that you have to be grateful for. It’s a surefire way to boost your mood and make your life more enjoyable.