A Verse for All Seasons

The Bible contains 31,106 verses. Which is your favorite?

Favorite scriptures come from different sources, a 6-year-old reciting a memory verse, or a mother’s instruction. Traumatic life situations fixed some in the heart.

Mine comes from having to answer that question once before.

In 2004, my youngest daughter (who was in college) sent us a message. She had to write a paper about her parents’ favorite scriptures.

I had to think. There were too many verses, waving their hands and saying, “Pick me, pick me.” So, I chose one that is appropriate for many situations.

Marriages improve and conflict cools. Churches that use it find greater unity. Careful meeting participants can lower the temperature in meetings.

Friendships grow closer, and neighbors can avoid a feud.

Here it is:

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29, ESV)

Ephesians details the mystery of God, of taking Jew and Gentile enemies for centuries. In Christ’s blood and through Christ’s grace, enemies become brothers in Christ. The 4th chapter begins with the list of ones…one faith, one Lord, one baptism.

Unity is easy to preach but hard to pull off. People can appear unified when they are merely tolerating the situation.

But this verse has the WD-40 of unity. Something squeaks and you shoot this oily stuff on the squeak and it goes away. This is a WD-40 verse.

Four aspects give it its punch.

Corrupt Speech

We shorten it to say, “Don’t say dirty words.” But that is too simple and too naïve. Paul says something much deeper.

Corrupt describes something rotten and spoiled.

A wife cleans out the refrigerator, and the milk has today’s date on it. They take the milk out and say, “Do you think this is still good?” So her husband opens the lid and sniffs it and the look on our face tells everything.

What is corrupt corrupts others. One bad apple spoils the bunch. Or, as Paul told the Corinthians, “bad companions corrupt bad morals.”

Online communication grows corrupt because the writer doesn’t see the damage the words cause. This anonymity gives license to people, many of who claim to be Christians, to write angry, belittling, demeaning, and hurtful things. Would you say that to the person’s face or their spouse or kids? If not, DON’T SAY IT!!!!

Build Up

Instead of corrupt, say what will build up another.

Let them leave your presence better than when they came. Criticize if you must. Only let your goal be to help, not show how smart you are (which is the difference between a coach and a critic).

Think of the people you talk to each week. How can you lift them up? How can you be the balm to the broken heart? What can you say to guide them through their failure rather than force them to wallow in it?

Think of Barnabas. He had a nephew, Mark who messed up. Paul washed his hands of him and did not want a “turncoat” on any trip with him. But Barnabas reclaimed him, stuck with him. One day, Paul, who had washed his hands of him, said, “Mark is useful to me.” He found himself with Peter, started writing his stories about Jesus, and came up with what we call “Gospel.” No wonder they called Levi the “Son of Encouragement.”

Fitting

When something is missing, the person who fills the need does what is “fitting.”

When the meal is running low and someone goes to Golden Chick to buy more chicken, that’s “fitting.”

Are your words fitting…do they take care of a need? When someone is sad, do you say the right word? Or do you say, “Oh well, that’s life.” One is fitting, and the other causes fits.

When a child is crying, what words dry the tears?

Find the word that soothes, heals, instructions, and care.

As Mark Twain said, “The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”

Grace Giving

The final thing Paul says is, “Make sure it leaves a mark of grace.” Grace is getting more than you deserve and avoiding what you do. The woman caught in adultery in John 8 was not absolved but received grace.

A woman seemed to never say a cross word, even though she had reason to. Someone said, “What makes you know to say the right thing?” She said, “I taste my words before I spit them out.”

When the words come out of your mouth, do they have the aftertaste of grace in them? Do people know they are sinners forgiven by God and also by you? Grace doesn’t remind the listener of failure. Grace doesn’t seek superiority. Grace doesn’t care who gets the credit.

Would people call you gracious?

Some Rules

First, does it need to be said at all? Many things don’t. You can overlook so much. Just because you have an opinion doesn’t mean you must share it.

Second, does it need to be said by me? Gossip is a problem because you share a story that doesn’t belong to you.

Third, does it need to be said by me now? It may not be fitting to the situation.

So look at your last week and the words you spoke? Do they measure up to Paul’s standard?